Handstands: Truths of Parenting

I realize it's been a while since I've done any writing, and as usual it's on the list to keep up with my blog. Every weekend I think I'll have time and then the time magically vanishes! Today I did manage to organize and pack away all of the clothes that were too small for Eleanor (sob!) and vacuum the house. That seemed like enough productivity for one day, but then I also managed to make dinner! And keep a baby alive! Gold stars all around.

In all seriousness, however, I do miss writing. It helps me process my life and the world around me and also serves as a great way to look back on the past and remember all the crazy/beautiful/happy/wonderful things that I've experienced. And this past 6 months have been some of the most wondrous of all. Not to make excuses, but I've got a terrible sleeper on my hands which means at any moment I might need to run up stairs to calm her down, feed her, and try to get her back in her bed without her waking up and flipping out. It's 22:05 and I'm expecting her to wake up any minute, so we'll see what I manage to write!

In my last post about Eleanor and motherhood I was in complete awe of everything. I was also desperate for my little girl to stay little and to grow slowly. I followed all the advice of soaking it in and enjoying all the small moments (oh no, she's moving! Now crying! got to go...)

So I've grabbed the little monster from her crib and I'm feeding her lying down whilst also typing one handed on my phone. This, I feel, most accurately sums up my life at present. Plus I make tons of typos as my left hand thumb is none too accurate. And my brain is basically mush, so there's that too.

Since our last update little Eleanor and I have traveled to Bristol and back, Chicago and back, Los Angeles and back, and France/Switzerland and back. She is a super traveler and a generally all around happy baby.

California holiday - Christmas, beach and sun!

After cross-country skiing in Switzerland

I can't believe it's been over eight months since Eleanor was born. She has changed so much and is now so intensely interested in her surroundings. Where before she would get bored of whatever she was playing with in minutes and need attention, now she can play on her own for over an hour and she is so dang happy and smiley while doing it! She crawls around, pulls things down, destroys the house and has a terrific time. Part of me loves watching her grow and change and become this whole new person, and the other part of me mourns the loss of my newborn and her tiny fists and tiny, curled up body.

I've learned a few things about motherhood that these past few months, many of which I'm sure veteran mothers wouldn't find surprising at all:

It can be soooo boring, like rocking a baby to sleep that just won't go to sleep and you're out of songs and your arms ache and go to sleep gosh darn it! I've been rocking you half an hour and I need to eat dinner! I used to be cool and do things and now all I do is rock you!
Your brain turns to mush. I can't seem to remember anything, learn anything new, or function much past keeping everyone alive. And even in the middle of an adult conversation half my brain is checking on the baby, just to be sure she's okay (even when she's fast asleep 😴). I walk into rooms and can't remember why. I make plans with people and promptly forget them. I check my planner multiple times a day to be sure I'm not missing anything because my brain sure isn't remembering it!
Your baby is the cutest baby in the whole wide world - every other baby is okay but wow is yours gorgeous! I'm pretty biased here, but everyone loves to confirm my suspicions. (Done feeding, ninja rolled off the bed, now finishing typing before she wakes up!)
There's always something wrong with them - jaundice, blocked tear ducts, bad sleep habits, overtired, overstimulated, stuffy nose, teething, runny nose, cough... seriously the list never ends. You get through one thing and a new one arrives. The worst is that they can't tell you what's wrong so they just cry and you try 3,127 things hoping something will work so you can get some dang sleep before they wake up again for another feed! So you just have to keep muddling through until someday they're 18 and moving out (only joking?).
You've got 632 things to do around the house, all of which could be done in an hour which are made a million times harder when done one handed with a meddling baby. Gone are the days I could trap her in a carrier. Her little inquisitive hands try to hold and eat everything and she'll settle for my hair if she has to. Ouch.
Life is so unpredictable. Because of previously explained 102 problems with babies, life can change drastically from one day to another. Today I may have a super happy giggly girl and tomorrow a grumpy gills who refuses to nap. I might get 3 hours of sleep tonight and I might get 8 hours tomorrow (yeah right, that's wishful thinking). It definitely keeps you on your toes, and I've only got one kiddo!
You don't have much 'you' time. Running? Showering? Two hour yoga sessions? Ha. Hahahahaha. I used to wonder why mums didn't have time to shower and now I'm that unshowered mum. It's only 10 minutes, right? But somehow it seems impossible to find 10 minutes in the day when there is so much else to do, like letting your precious lady sleep in your arms for 2 hours or play peekaboo or watch your cutie eat spaghetti bolognese for the first time and then consoling her as she cries and you scrub it off her hands, face, ears, hair, toes, seat, tray, floor, etc.
Everyone is right - you love them so much it feels like your heart might burst. Every smile and laugh and wave and babble and nuzzle and cuddle makes the sleep-deprivation-brain-mush so so worth it.

I am such a lucky mum to get a year of maternity leave to spend with my girl. I hope I remember these golden days and keep trying to slow it down and take it all in. The days (and sometimes hours) are long but the years are short and she'll be grown in the blink of an eye.