Although I understand that you can't really know being a parent is like until you have your own children, I hope that I am more prepared than usual. I've spent the majority of my life caring for children - first as a babysitter, then as a nursery worker, then an au pair, then a teacher. I eat sleep and breathe children every day, only at the moment it's 24 little people who need my complete attention. I have to be honest, I'm looking forward to just meeting the needs of one little wriggler. "It's different when it's your own," everyone says, and I'm glad for that. I love my students and I want the best for them, but not the way I loved the little girl I was an au pair for, or the children on my block that I watched grown from helpless little infants to strong, independent young adults. And now I'm ready for that bigger love, the one that's stronger than anything else. Even only 18 weeks into my pregnancy, I'm already feeling it. I'm so protective of my little bump, and I want to hug it every day (and I do!). I'm not hoping to race ahead to the end of my pregnancy because I love how protected and cared for my little Wriggles is right now. I already love being a mother and I still have months to go before I hold my little one.
On the baby front, I have finally felt my first tiny kicks from Wriggles. It felt like everyone said it would - popcorn popping, bubbles, butterflies and all the rest. I was sitting in a teacher in-service and there it was, clear as day at 18 weeks exactly. I cracked a huge smile and rubbed my tummy savoring this little moment between me and my Wriggles. A few days later, I had a routine midwife appointment to check up on everything, and as she was trying to find the heartbeat with the doppler, the baby wouldn't stop kicking her! "Bang, bang bang!" instead of a heartbeat we were just hearing the kicks! When she could find the heartbeat, it was only for a few seconds before the baby would spin away and she'd go hunting for it again. Then she commented on how very active the baby was with all the flipping and kicking and I told her about our name for our baby - Wriggles - and she said it was very appropriate. I only hope it doesn't mean we'll have an incredibly active little toddler to chase!
We've had a quiet few weeks at home here, recovering from our long, wonderful trip to the US, preparing for the baby, and getting back to work as usual. Yesterday we got the playroom ready by organizing the book shelves and moving the nursing chair into its place. In a few weeks time we'll be having all the rooms repainted with durable paint (the kind a baby can finger-paint on and still have it wiped clean), then meeting with a personal nursery expert to try out strollers and car seats in our car and start thinking about the baby furniture and nursery themes. I even started in on Wriggles' baby book, the part that you do when you find out your pregnant and as the pregnancy progresses! There's so much time before the baby comes, and I know they need very little, so I'm not worried about getting it all done. However, I am a planner and I like things finished ahead of schedule, so we're tackling one task at a time and making our "to-do-before-baby-arrives" list. If you've got any pro-tips I'm all ears for them as we move through our second trimester. Wriggles will be here before we know it!
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