Here I am again, listening to the inane, seemingly endless "hold" music from another wonderful government help service. When I pictured myself living in Scotland, I glossed over all the real life difficulties that waited for me. If you've ever changed countries, you know the difficulties I'm talking about. Moving to Switzerland was a breeze compared to moving here. And although I am much happier and more balanced in this life, sometimes I long for something to just be easy. With my current immigration status unknown and my passport in the hands of UK Border Agency, even some of the smallest, simplest things feel like a challenge.
Take for example opening a bank account. You have money. You would prefer not to carry around said money for every tiny purchase. You try to open a bank account - with your money, in a country you are legally allowed to live in. But what's that? You don't have your actual visa yet? Because the process can take 6+ months? Well, no bank account for you (thanks Bank of Scotland!). So I tried a building society (Nationwide), and after a failed visit to a local branch, a long call to headquarters, and then another visit to a local branch, I was finally approved for my account. Why was it such a hassle? Because the government requires individuals who are not British citizens to provide their passport when opening an account. But who has my passport? The government! I was able to finally open this account because someone at Nationwide recognized my Certificate of Application (C.O.A.) as my proof of ID, legal residence, and as confirmation of where my passport is. Thank goodness some people are informed or I'd still be carrying around £5000 in my pocket (only joking, who has that kind of money in their pocket outside of Switzerland?)
Now let's move back to this fun music I'm (still) listening to. I'm trying to contact Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs (or HMRC). It's actually my second time on hold today with HMRC, the first time I spent 40 minutes on hold, only to have the person tell me that "maybe" my address was incorrect, and "maybe" if I changed it the problem would be fixed. But he couldn't confirm anything, and he couldn't fix anything (what could he do? Who knows! He was only the HELP line!) so I had to call this second number. Gee, thanks. We're currently at 26 minutes and counting.
Why am I even trying to contact HMRC, you ask? After all, I'm not employed in the UK (more on that later). Just after I moved here, and insightful friend pointed out that because I'm working online - even though it's based in American in US dollars, into a US account- I should file my taxes as an independent earner using the self-assessment. With my current immigration status, I want to stay on the right side of the law so I diligently looked into it. The first thing I found was that I absolutely could not file my taxes without a national insurance number (like a SSN for those Americans out there). So I made an appointment (after waiting on hold for quite a while) to interview in order to get my national insurance number. The interview was painless but long, and within a few weeks, I had my new bright shiny national insurance number.
Now I've got my number, and we've found our unique tax reference number (buried under a pile of papers) -
Wait! The phone is ringing! Only 37 minutes on hold! Let's see if we can get this sorted or if I get to spend tomorrow listening to more interminable, looping music.
Okay, I'm back. After another fun conversation, the helpful person has explained that my address looks fine, and he has no idea why I can't register. And that probably the first guy I talked to was wrong. He nearly suggested I call the first number back - but after my comment about how long I was on hold, he probably reconsidered. Why do governments make it so hard to give them money? He tells me a new number to call, and he claims the wait time should be shorter this time.
Onto my third number and back on hold...
Another fun set of hoops I get to jump through is getting my teaching certification here. I've filled out all the paper work, printed off all my degrees, transcripts, US and Swiss certifications, etc. but because I've lived in 2 different countries, I need to get background checks in both of them. I understand why they require this - they need to keep their students safe, and they have no idea who I was when I lived in the US or Switzerland. So I sent out for my criminal record check in Switzerland, which was returned in under a week - gotta love Swiss efficiency. The American FBI background check was a little trickier. The Scottish police no longer provide fingerprinting services, so I had to find a private service. Luckily out of the 2 services I found, one was just 20 minutes away! So after a fingerprinting, paying £75 and sending off the forms I get to wait another 6-8 weeks for that to be returned.
The kicker here is that in order to get my teaching certificate in Switzerland (which I still have and is still valid), I also needed a background check. Since I haven't lived in the US since that background check was done, this should be proof that my history is clean. The helpful lady at the General Teaching Council of Scotland (GTCS) said that if I still had the original background check, then they would accept that. Well the FBI doesn't send background checks to the individuals, they send them to the organizations requiring them - otherwise the individual could change them, and they would be worthless. This time around, the GTCS will be receiving my background check, but I still won't have it.
Are you confused with all the loops, hoops and confusing paths I have to take? Sometimes it makes me dizzy just thinking about it. Like how I couldn't get a sim card for my phone because I didn't have a mobile phone number. Because obviously, everyone already has a phone number. Right? (We eventually straightened that one out...)
The mind-numbing music has stopped and the phone rings again! Third time's a charm, right?
Last update in the I'm Just Trying To Pay My Taxes saga...
So this final call was very helpful, I'm all set up (hopefully) and will be receiving my information in the mail. The nice guy gave me another number to call to figure out tax relief (to avoid double taxation), and then told me to try that number another time, as I would probably end up on hold for another hour (and he gently reminded me that today is Friday). I think I'll take his advice and eat some dinner, and leave that problem to another day.
It can only get better, right? Have you moved to a different country? What trouble did you face? My only saving grace is that at least all my calls are in English and everyone can (mostly) understand me. So onwards, to the next challenge, whatever that may be!
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