True to form, I wrote this 3 Thursdays ago, before going o Amsterdam, but had no Internet in the cafe... So I'm only posting it now...
I've really meant to update about my lovely weekend in Tignes with my parents and friends, but my life has gotten the better of me. And this weekend I am heading off to Amsterdam to meet more friends, and so the amount of things I need to write about to remind me of my life here grows. But lately, my life has revolved around one thing. Daydreaming. I have always been excited for things in the future, and I have looked forward anxiously to upcoming trips, visits, weddings, etc. but never have I felt something as powerful as I feel now. I find myself in my private lessons, picturing myself on a beach in Brazil. On the bus, I am wandering the markets in Thailand. Grading papers, i am on safari in Africa. Ever since purchasing our tickets and making my dream a reality, I can't stop living in the future, in my future, that is so close (only 4 months!) and so far (4 more months?!) to me.
It's not that I'm not trying to enjoy what I've got here. I'm making plans with friends, organizing the events and activities I love or I've always wanted to try. It's just that I am so anxious, and SO excited to see what comes next in my life. For years, I've felt like Switzerland was the holding cell, the place I waited before real life started. And now I'm about to be freed, out into the "real" world, where Paul and I finally (finally!) live alone together, and I can start to settle into a life where I might stay for a while. How can I possibly keep my feet on the ground and my brain at the task at hand?
No comments:
Post a Comment